her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
