Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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