p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
