i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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