how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
