And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
