my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
