can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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