do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
