Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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