she woke up with a sticky ear
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
