4 words: hood of his car
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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