I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
