They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
