I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
