he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
