3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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