I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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