you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
