I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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