Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
