oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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