dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
