I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
