dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
now i know why i became what i already was.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
