i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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