Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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