I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
