FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
