Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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