I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
