we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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