I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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