all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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