I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize