yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
