party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
