I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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