Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
