Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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