i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
