I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
