My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize