As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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