You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
