I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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