Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
