i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
