no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
