Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
