i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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