Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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