im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
there's paper in my vomit.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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