i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
