I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
