so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
