I'm really into asian looking animals
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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