I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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