I look better un-naked...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize