Define "chronic" masturbator.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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