Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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