she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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