I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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