How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize