what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
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I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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