Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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