remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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