listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
