Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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