I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
