Whod you bang
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
