JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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