i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
