Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
