OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
